Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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