Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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