Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I need to align my fucking chakras
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
