Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
