U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
