Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
