hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
