At least make sure they are 18
Why
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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