you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
