come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
