Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm bleeding and have questions
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
