Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize