I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she told me i tasted like america
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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