Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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