Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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