She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize