Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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