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• (817): View more from Texas

  youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (917): View more from New York City

  She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?

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• (585): View more from New York

  Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.

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• (310): View more from California

  Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised

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• (415): View more from California

  my vag sweat smells like doritos

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?

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• (310): View more from California

  Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.

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