38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
