Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.

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  (703): While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens. http://tfl.nu/2i4o
  Replies (19) Good night (3472) Bad night (700)
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  (619): View more from California

  That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...

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  (619): That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop... http://tfl.nu/9vfi
  Replies (3) Good night (2626) Bad night (531)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!

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  (503): You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit! http://tfl.nu/d8vz
  Replies (9) Good night (766) Bad night (3338)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year

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  (203): i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year http://tfl.nu/ku2e
  Replies (58) Good night (8345) Bad night (2042)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

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  (910): This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods. http://tfl.nu/a6lo
  Replies (11) Good night (5053) Bad night (1152)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C

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  (401): so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C http://tfl.nu/zt1d
  Replies (12) Good night (3997) Bad night (1110)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter

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  (508): I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter http://tfl.nu/gfmg
  Replies (10) Good night (4384) Bad night (1328)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.

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  (847): Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too. http://tfl.nu/lfcy
  Replies (6) Good night (3750) Bad night (999)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.

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  (506): Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions. http://tfl.nu/8zye
  Replies (4) Good night (1307) Bad night (696)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy

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  (515): i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy http://tfl.nu/58yw
  Replies (15) Good night (1501) Bad night (508)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?

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  (303): Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail? http://tfl.nu/afmp
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (446)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.

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  (646): Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50. http://tfl.nu/ks3u
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (384)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.

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  (423): I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time. http://tfl.nu/ysom
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (333)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.

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  (416): Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch. http://tfl.nu/1d55
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (292)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.

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  (801): It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me. http://tfl.nu/8eze
  Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (190)

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