i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.