hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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