Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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