new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
