Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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