sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
