Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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