Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
