Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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