I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
