He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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