i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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