I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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