we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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