so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize