I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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