grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
