Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
