Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
