I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
