At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
