so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize