ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
