Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
