when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
