I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
