So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
