her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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