just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just gift wrapped bread.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
