I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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