If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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