Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
