my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
