During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
