I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
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Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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