if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
