i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
