My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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