420 ftw
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
