terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
