So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
