I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
