I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
