will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
