that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
