Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
