Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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