She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize