I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
