i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Randomize