he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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