I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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