My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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